It is no surprise I will take advantage of this blog when it comes to rambling. My anxiety keeps me from doing a lot of things. It makes traveling, hanging out with friends and enjoying a nice weekend difficult. Long story short, Anxiety kicks my booty. At the start of this school year I told myself I was going to make this year memorable, I was going to worry less and live in the present.
I am a one-woman circus when it comes to my emotions. I am up and down and all around. I get depressed when I dwell on the past, far to anxious when I think about the future and what I’m doing with my life and If I’m content in the present it only lasts about 2 days. How am I supposed to live? In my personal bubble being a worrywart? No, Thank you. Frankly I am getting tired and frustrated with myself living that way. Why can’t I hop in a car for an unplanned road trip, go out with friends and meet new people or be who I am, without this intensifying fear of being wrong?
‘You’re on the outside looking in’ is a very real and relatable quote. I’m tired of that being my life. Waiting for that to somehow magically change when in reality it’s not unless I do something about it, grab my big girl panties and stop being a wet blanket.
I have the chance to meet my favorite UK bloggers, ones I have followed for almost three years the individuals who basically gave me the courage to start blogging. This is probably a once in a lifetime chance and what’s stopping me? The fear of a road trip, doing things wrong and disappointing others, how frustrating is that?
The question is what do I do? On top of being anxious I’m also probably the most indecisive person you will ever meet. The thought of what to do will probably drive me crazy. ‘WELCOME TO THE ONE WOMAN CIRCUS OF CRAZY.’
I need to learn how to not feel so bad, to understand people don’t scrutinize me as much as I do myself, to learn to live and let go. Enjoy every day as it comes and not have my anxiety stop me from creating memories. This post is a reminder to myself to live a little louder, enjoy every minute I am lucky enough to have and to explore outside of my comfort zone, (which clearly, I am terrible at.)
Wish my Luck! Also if anyone has any tips I would love to hear them! : )
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